Spoiler warning: this post contains spoilers for Blue Box Season 2! If you haven't watched yet, go watch Season 2 first~
You've admired someone before, haven't you? What if you worked hard to catch up with the talent that person has, and then at some point even just seeing them made you uncomfortable?
✦ How Did They See Each Other?
The gaze since their mini-basketball days
Chinatsu and Yumeka have been special to each other since their mini-basketball days. Chinatsu admired Yumeka's talent, and Yumeka was aware of how steadily Chinatsu kept making an effort.
But the two, meeting again in Season 2, don't act like happy old friends. Yumeka throws sharp words at Chinatsu, and Chinatsu gets hurt without fully knowing why. Where on earth did the two who admired each other go wrong?
Chinatsu ISFJ 1w2: Someone Who Turned Admiration into Daily Effort
To Chinatsu, Yumeka wasn't just a friend who's good at basketball. Yumeka, who played on the same mini-basketball team as a child, was the first player Chinatsu ever made her goal.
Wanting to catch up with Yumeka's talent, Chinatsu came to the gym earlier than others and kept practicing. She didn't keep her admiration only in words; she turned it into a force that changed her own days.
✦ The Two Types at a Glance
This post's reading
Chinatsu can be read as ISFJ 1w2. The ISFJ trait shows in protecting what she values through steady action. Chinatsu doesn't end her love of basketball with one hot resolution; she carries it on as a habit of daily practice. The traits of 1w2 overlap too.
That is, an attitude of trying to keep the standards she's set for herself and not treating relationships with precious people carelessly.
But Chinatsu's firmness has a weakness too. She tends to speak only after calmly sorting out her own feelings, so the more important a relationship is, the harder it gets to say honest words.
Even when she met Yumeka again, Chinatsu couldn't move close and press her like before. She wants to hear what's been hard for her all this time, why she quit basketball, and what feelings remain toward her, but can't easily ask.
Yumeka is so important to Chinatsu that even starting a conversation becomes cautious.
So even after hearing that Yumeka quit basketball, Chinatsu can't easily scold her or urge her to start again. Chinatsu is still on the court, but Yumeka has drifted away. Chinatsu doesn't know what feelings her continuing basketball stirred in Yumeka.
On top of that, Yumeka keeps her distance with sharp words rather than explaining why. Chinatsu is more careful because she treasures the relationship, but that carefulness delays her chance to hear the feelings Yumeka has been hiding.
Yumeka ISTP 4w3: Someone Who Cuts Off Her True Feelings with the Word "Hate"
Unlike Chinatsu, Yumeka was a player who stood out first for her basketball skill. Even when the two met again, Yumeka throws sharp words first rather than gently looking at the other's situation.
She shows discomfort on seeing Chinatsu with Taiki, and keeps her distance from Taiki too.
Yumeka seems to be ISTP 4w3. The ISTP trait is an attitude of cutting a situation off with short, direct words rather than explaining feelings at length.
Instead of calmly opening up about her situation, Yumeka throws out words that make it hard for the other person to continue the conversation.
Also, in how she compares herself with others in an area she feels is valuable, and reacts sharply when the comparison touches her pride, you can see the 4w3 side.
✦ How Yumeka's Heart Drifted
Changes in middle school, and her attitude after they meet again
Taiki happens to run into Yumeka and hears from her why she quit basketball. Yumeka says she quit because she came to dislike Chinatsu.
Hearing only this, it looks as if Chinatsu did something wrong and so Yumeka quit basketball, but the inside story is different. At first, Yumeka was happy that Chinatsu admired and relied on her.
A friend recognizing that she's a good basketball player was certainly a good thing. But as time went on, Yumeka's passion for basketball wasn't what it used to be.
She often thought of wanting to rest from practice, and when the last middle school game ended, she felt relief before sadness.
And then, the very next day, Yumeka sees Chinatsu practicing alone. She had felt relieved thinking the game was over and she could stop now, but Chinatsu was still on the court.
Because Chinatsu started basketball late, she thought she had to practice more than others, so she kept practicing even when it was hard. There was a different kind of strength there from the 'talent' that was why Chinatsu admired Yumeka.
What Yumeka realized too late was that even though she had been the object of Chinatsu's admiration, she herself wasn't someone who could keep making steady effort like Chinatsu.
✦ What Yumeka Said and the Inside Story
Her words and heart differed
Yumeka didn't want to show that weak side to Chinatsu. Chinatsu saw her as a great player, and Yumeka liked that gaze.
But if she admitted she no longer loved basketball as before, she'd fear that the image of herself that Chinatsu trusted and admired would collapse.
Saying "Actually, I often wanted to rest too" or "I was relieved when the game ended" would have felt to Yumeka like confessing her own shortcomings.
So rather than confessing honestly, she tried to cut off the relationship by saying she'd come to dislike Chinatsu.
Why does Yumeka, after quitting basketball, act cold to Chinatsu yet keep caring about her? Because Chinatsu is still important to Yumeka.
Chinatsu is the person who reminds Yumeka she was once an admired player, and also the person who keeps up the effort that Yumeka herself couldn't see through to the end.
If she had fully sorted out her feelings, there'd be no reason to butt in about who Chinatsu dates or whether she plays basketball. But when she saw Chinatsu with Taiki, Yumeka reacted sharply.
The Chinatsu Yumeka remembers was someone who made steady effort for basketball more than anyone, but now that she's going on a date with Taiki, it looked as if she were getting distracted from basketball.
That doesn't mean Chinatsu actually neglected basketball. Because Yumeka had been holding Chinatsu up as an ideal standard, seeing a side different from that image set off disappointment and anger.
✦ Feelings Beneath the Sharp Words
It isn't hatred alone
So Yumeka's attitude is neither simple hatred nor a wish for special treatment from Chinatsu. The admiration for Chinatsu remains, but since that admiration also makes her feel ashamed, she wants to get close yet ends up pushing away.
Throwing sharp words at Chinatsu looks like an act to cut off the relationship, but Yumeka keeps being aware of how Chinatsu is doing.
Why the Two Drifted Apart
Chinatsu isn't someone who endures thinking only of basketball with no feelings either. There are times she runs out of strength, and times she draws strength from someone.
Yumeka thought Chinatsu was a person who never wavers, but Chinatsu was enduring in her own way too. The Chinatsu that Yumeka admired wasn't the real Chinatsu; she was also an ideal image Yumeka had built.
✦ What Each Didn't Know
They drifted because they did not know
Conversely, Chinatsu didn't really know why Yumeka quit basketball or why she pushed her away. What happened during the time Yumeka drifted from her, and the circumstances of her changed surname and the different path she took, she learns of later.
Chinatsu still remembers Yumeka as "the person who made me love basketball," but Yumeka couldn't be honest because she felt she hadn't stayed someone who lived up to that expectation.
One didn't know why the friend she admired had disappeared, and the other didn't want to admit she couldn't remain someone admired.
Chinatsu didn't turn her back just because Yumeka pushed her away. Even while showing hurt with "You don't tell me anything," she ends up trying to convey her feelings.
That she told Yumeka she draws strength from Taiki and that she was lonely when Yumeka left was also the first time she showed Yumeka a true side of herself that Yumeka hadn't known. Will the two be able to grow close again?
That's all for this post. See you next time.
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🌐 Korean version: 서로를 동경했는데, 왜 멀어졌을까? — 《푸른 상자》 시즌 2 성격유형 분석
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